I flew back home yesterday. On the way to Chicago a week ago, I had considered asking for a wheelchair at the airport, for the way back. Yeah, that’s how bad I thought I’d be. It was a smooth ride back. Needless to say, I feel pretty good, except tired. I’m staying home the rest of the week, working remotely instead of going into the office, although today the exhaustion got the better of me.
Context helps puts things into perspective. I was able to look at myself in my usual ambiance – the familiar furniture, the lighting, the angles. I’m healing quickly, physically and emotionally. My chest looks great, the swelling is down and I can see some of the minor bruising around the scar area. Sensation is increasing more each day. Right now it’s a little numb around the scar areas and right on the nipple, and right on the drain sites as well, but not much more. The whole area feels hypersensitive at times, like when your arm falls asleep and then you get the tingly ants crawling over it as it regains consciousness. It’s also beginning to feel less unfamiliar, more like my own. It’s starting to fuse with the dream image I had of myself before. I’m very satisfied with my progress so far.
I also got some responses about post-operative depression from a listserve I’m in, and a very insightful comment on the last post as well. It seems this is not an uncommon issue, it’s just that nobody talks about it. Hopefully more people can open up about their experiences around this to make it easier for others to deal with it when they do happen across it.